Wednesday, June 27

paul ordered cable. i can't believe he did that, and without even talking to me. i don't want cable, no matter the cost. tv is addictive enough without paying money for it, and even if it isn't a lot, i would just rather not have it around. it's like not putting yourself in a tempting situation. this admits, of course, that i am tempted by cable... that even though i say that i know intellectually that tv is numbifying and turn your brains to mush, as well as allowing the media to infiltrate your life and affect your values even more than already, still i know that tv is also mesmerizing, and that i have a tendency to rely on it when i am procrastinating. so i am not pleased at all with him. jerk. if he'd at least talked me into it first, i would feel better, too. i want to throw the tv out. and yet i am not truly ready to do that... not when we have come to rely on it as a source of slacking, and as a center for entertainment in a social atmosphere. and yet i wish i could. so i make up for my weakness by saying i wish paul would feel that way, so i could heartily agree and not have to fight a half-hearted battle over things like cable.
i hate brad. hate him hate him hate him! he's like dave pax in how he makes you feel small and stupid. except dave pax would have a hissy if he knew how much paper brad wanted me to waste. suzy told me brad had to have things done just so, his way. well, his way is wrong. he doesn't need to have me reprint six zillion pages - he can wait until september and i will do it better then. i hate him hate him hate him for checking up on me, and i will never leave filing out again so he can do that. he can just go fuck himself, the big stupid loser.